We’re spending Christmas apart (again!) but we thought that seeing as though we got great feedback from last year’s Christmas List (about two “likes”) compose another a follow-up! Here is our favourite stuff from 2011 that you should really put on your Christmas list:
1: Friday Night Lights DVD
Honestly this show means EVERYTHING to us! TV at it’s finest; it’s sometimes sad, often moving, always smart and always inspiring. I’m a grown guy with two fully-developed testicles and I still cry every time Tyra reads out her college essay (it starts at the 28 minute mark here). PLUS: FNL also doubles as porn! Everytime Tim Riggins appears on screen Nicola has to take a “sneaky bathroom break” , and, well, I’m less subtle when it comes to Tami and Julie Taylor. Nothing like a strong-willed Texan principal and her rebellious teen daughter to get you hot!!!
2: The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas
Every Thursday night you could find us at Nicola’s place watching the TV adaptation of this “heterophobic” novel. If you aren’t associated with The Slap in any way, you should read the book rather than watch the show because that’s just what you’re supposed to do. Warning: Book contains lots of drug and masturbation scenes (including a teenage girl having some fun with a shampoo bottle) and gratuitous use of the word “cunt”. Don’t do what I did last year and give the book as a gift to your Grandma.
3: Royal Wedding Merchandise
We celebrated The Royal Wedding by going out with all our friends. Ha ha JOKES! We sat at home by ourselves and got reeeaaaally drunk by 6.30pm and watched the nuptials on a tiny TV. It was seriously the best night ever. We’re both proud owners of tonnes of Royal Wedding merch, including T-shirts, fridge magnets and studded phone covers, but how can you go wrong with a packet of these Crown Jewels condoms?! If you decide to be really generous and purchase these for us make sure to get two boxes because we’re NOT together (GROSS)… Okay, fine, we admit that’s greedy. We’ll take one box and split it and we’ll still both have an ample supply by the time Will and Kate’s currently unproduced kids get married in about 30 years :( *
*Emoticons are never really acceptable EXCEPT to emphasise a lack of action.
4: Friday Night Lights Merchandise
FNL and “merch” are our two favourite things, so this makes perfect sense.
5: 4 by Beyonce
There was once a time where if you told us that Beyonce would be our hero we’d have laughed, spat in your face and told you to fuck off (we’re really nice people). But “Countdown” is officially our song of the year and this album rules in every way possible.
6: Law For Dummies Textbook
Nicola is a really smart law student and it’s just a simple fact of life that law students LOVE nothing more than to talk about law. It’s like a lifestyle. To students who don’t study law, like me (I swear I’m also really smart but have just decided not to take the corporate -AKA: employed- path) this can be really boring because you have no idea what the law student is talking about. The solution is to pick up a copy of Law For Dummies, that way you’ll look like a good friend even if you don’t read it (which, let’s face it, you never will)!
7: New Balance Shoes
Exercise is really cool… apparently! Did you know Nicola only sleeps 5 hours a night? After that law coursework is complete she takes a midnight run around the city, jogging an extra block out of her way just so she doesn’t pass Max Brenner (it’s a chocolate shop, not her ex)! Then at 7am she’s on her way to swim laps at the pool. I like to do other things like, um, sleep and not be a freak so exercise was out of the question. That was until my recent health scare frightened me into putting on a pair of running shoes and doing weird things like “running” and “exerting myself”. Please put some shoes on your list and do this too, so I’m not alone!
8: Decoded by Jay-Z
Picking a favourite between Beyonce and Jay-Z is kind of like trying to pick between God or Jesus: pointless because they’re both all-powerful and work together. Decoded is sick, and so is Watch The Throne if you’re into Jay-Z collaborating with Kanye West, which I’m not. I once said I hated Kanye West and Nicola legit did not speak to me for two days…
9: Protein shakes
“I am a human protein shake” Nicola recently tweeted. Luckily she has a trust fund, because “the shakes” are like $10 a pop. If you’re like me and you’re a stingy cunt ONE protein shake is the perfect present for the girl you like. It’s relatively cheap and the recipient is not going to call you a miser because they’re going to be so flattered after you say, “You’re SO skinny, you really need to drink this. I’m so worried about you!”
A.
rev:
cutest moment of the show
OK I HAD TO. Ugh I love them.
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